Glamourous Gowns and Garbage Bags!

I know you’re in a last-minute panic about making something to wear to a holiday party. (Or maybe you’re not, because, like me, your office party is a lunchtime pop-and-chip potluck and your husband’s company is too cheap to allow spouses to their holiday party. Woop woop.) But if you are, Woman’s Day magazine’s December 1977 issue (55¢) has the answer: sparkling party tents!

sparkling sack dresses!
Welcome! Just toss your keys in that big bowl over there, ladies!

More sparkling sack dresses!

In fact, you can make these with no sewing skills whatsoever. Just cut giant rectangles, fasten them around you randomly with small ties, and violà — instant party dress. Check out the line drawings of the patterns below!

Sparkling Sack Dresses - Complete with complex line drawings
Sparkling Sack Dresses – complete with complex line drawings

I think if you’re looking for a pattern for a “tunic”, and you find one with a line drawing that is literally a square, you might just want to keep looking.

On the other hand, if you’re looking for a one-off party dress that can double as a trash bag for collecting empty bottles and cigarette butts at the end of the night, this could be the one.

THANK YOU Woman’s Day for this awesome laugh. I mean, just look at that guy in the bottom picture above. He honestly doesn’t care that this woman is dressed in a sparkling sack…he is ready to PARTY and he’s got the rose-coloured glasses and bow tie to prove it.

Lest you’re worried about how to accessorize these lovely garments, the same issue provides directions for making this lovely necklace — OUT OF PAPER CLIPS. “Paper clips are glued solid and strung on braided satin cord…”  I am screaming laughing.

This DIY paperclip necklace won't look at all like you glued a bunch of paperclips together.
This DIY paperclip necklace won’t look at all like you glued a bunch of paperclips together. Not at all.

Also thanks to my lovely neighbour who was chucking a whole stack of these old magazines and let me take them. Gold mine of memories of ads and products from my childhood.

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Glamourous Gowns and Garbage Bags!

  1. 😄 Lol!!! That Demi Poncho looks like a top I made in high school. I forgot to sew up the sides though. Quite a bit over exposure. 😳 I know it sounds crazy but I actually want that paperclip necklace. 😂

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